For Aliens, By Aliens

A podcast about what it means to be a Hooman

Ep. 22 - The Adventures of Beard and Sallie-Boy

Galactic News

Space Turtles are on the move again.

Every century in Earth years, the space turtles start their long migration to a neighboring galaxy, which they designate as their boning galaxy.

Then, they come back to this galaxy, where they lay hundreds of eggs which are eaten by space-gulls, space-ghost crabs, and space dingos.

Bone voyage space turtles!

On the campaign trail this week, both galactic presidential candidates headed to the home planet of challenger Ted Cruz.

The stop proved trying for both candidates. Ted Cruz quickly found that his home-field advantage was nonexistent, as many hoomans continue to be under the impression that ted Cruz is, quote, some kind of alien.

Quarf Schweppes didn't fare much better. When campaigning in the Earth city of Seattle, most hoomans assumed he was homeless, and only offered their support in the form of crumpled earth-money.

Reportedly, his agitated cries of "I'm the president of the Galaxy" and did nothing to aid his flagging campaign.

Even so, Quarf Schweppes is still polling much stronger on earth than his rival, alleged Hooman Ted Cruz.

Earth News 

Dumpster babies: fact or fiction? We may never know.

© Jacob Rosok and Aaron Patterson, 2016