For Aliens, By Aliens

A podcast about what it means to be a Hooman

Ep. 29 - Justice Narb

Galactic News

The Valtrex Galaxy has developed an acute case of space dementia and has been asking the local galaxies, "Where are my reading glasses?" and "What were we talking about?" and "Who were you?"

"Oh, that’s right, and why is that black hole where my wife used to be?. . .Oh no. . ."

"Wait, where are my reading glasses?"


A graffiti artist is terrorizing residents of Flomax, a quiet suburban planet overlooking the Horsehead Nebula. 

Flomaxian Barf Lundgren awoke Thursday morning to find a crop circle imprinted on his front lawn, depicting the unmistakable image of Flomaxian male genitalia. The bulbous tubes, throbbing veins, and tight sphincters of the organ were rendered in vivid, lifelike detail that might be impressive if not for the unfortunate location.

“It’s disgraceful,” Lundgren stated. “My children aren’t ready to see a massive grindle like that. No one is ready for that.”

The massive crop grindle is the fifth of its kind to appear on Flomax in the last week.

Crop circles are, of course, widely used as a means of galactic graffiti, but rarely to such lifelike effect. Many in the urban art community are hailing the artist as “the Banksy of grindles. Some have even offered to buy Lundgren’s lawn which is now considered a collector’s item.

“It’s disgusting,” Lundgren muttered, staring out at his lawn. “Incredibly realistic, but disgusting.”

Earth News

Bananamamagrams are back. Get them while they're cold and uncomfortable. 

© Jacob Rosok and Aaron Patterson, 2016