George Lucas has finally returned to Earth after his 20-year intergalactic litigation process wherein he was sued over the likeness of his characters the “ewoks” from The Return of the Jedi for violating the Waku aliens right to publicity, or likeness copyright infringement.
While away in space court, Lucas was issued a stand in clone that looked and acted like him. This included the making of a prequel trilogy to his original Star Wars trilogy and the selling of Lucasfilm to Disney.
After returning to find his legacy in shambles, George Lucas has been despondent and will not leave skywalker ranch.
And just across the void, Andromeda’s galactic prime minister is pleased to announce the complete eradication of stupidity from the Andromedian population.
This marks the culmination of an aggressive vaccination campaign by the galactic health officials in the last decade.
“This is a landmark day in Andromedian history,” the prime minister said, “and we hope to see our neighboring galaxies take similar measures in the coming years.”
Meanwhile, Milky President Quarf Schweppes could not be reached for comment, as he was not able to figure out how to use the telephone.
Things are bad, real bad. So, you know, hang in there.