Animals all across the Sombrero Galaxy were outraged today when the galaxy’s comptroller Nuinn Niunn ate a live (for our purposes) dog on live (for our purposes) television.
He kept looking around saying, “What’s the big deal?”
Nuinn Niunn is scheduled for a press conference, then a hearing, and then an execution by dog.
You know what they say, “Live by the dogs, die by the dogs.”
This week, Milky Way President Quarf Schweppes made an impromptu visit to Centauri 6. A long-time fan of Centauri-style goat-pube sandwiches, the president reportedly just had to swing by for a bite.
The visit, which shut down interplanetary highways for several hours, led to long delays for local commuters.
Centauri resident Boofer Ferguson had this to say:
“I didn’t vote for Quarf Schwepps. He’s infringing on my rights to free… speech, or something. Next thing you know he’s going to be taking all of my molecular disintegration modules away. It’s like, where does it stop, you know?”
Great Britain succeeded from the European Union like a(n) (insert the word champ or ass-machine).