Scientists on planet Langlorn have found the cure for N.A.R.B.s.
For all you ignoramoose, is a situational disorder known only to the male of the species, or more commonly known as, a no apparent reason boner.
Jacob and Aaron just wish those scientists lived a bit closer to Earth.
Incumbent galactic president Quarf Schweppes has signed a new executive order that would completely outlaw voting.
The order comes on the heels of new polling numbers showing that president schweppes is falling farther behind earth-looney Ted Cruz and third party candidate ham sandwich.
The order is, of course, complete nonsense, and has no power whatsoever.
When reached for comment, Quarf Schweppes, cleared this throat like he was going to say something then just started softly weeping into the phone receiver. This went on for about five minutes before his campaign manager finally hung up the phone.
Aaron might have heard someone get murdered in the apartment above his, but maybe he was dreaming. It's hard to tell. Even he is not sure.