For Aliens, By Aliens

A podcast about what it means to be a Hooman

Ep. 85 - FABA the Squeakuel: Post Apocalyptic Uncle Jeff Gold Goldblums in Space

Your Earth Ambassadors are taking a break. It’s a hard job, especially when most Earth-people don’t even know the huge sacrifice we make on their behalf on the reg. Still, what a great time to talk about sequels! Jacob and Aaron talk about their favorite sequels yet to exist, Aaron forgets a lot of words along with who Natalie Portman (big famous awesome actress) even is, and they speculate on what season 2 of FABA will be, if it even is to be...sad face emoji?

Theme song: “Eye of My Mind” by Wooky (wookyofficial.bandcamp.com)

Episode 84: Happy Birthday! You Drink Piss, And I’ll Blow Myself Up!

Congratulations! You’re another year old, but what does that mean. Well aliens, we’re glad you asked. Jacob and Aaron are here to tell you everything you need to know in order to seamlessly blend into human societies on this most important of days. First, of course, your friends and family members must harass you and flog you with meat sticks. Second, you must be hung upside down by someone who then bangs your head on the ground once for every year you’ve been alive. Then, finally, you must take the strongest hallucinogens available and walk out into the wild in order to come to terms with your inner self, or else be devoured by your own inner demons. But hey, that’s hoomanity. And as a special birthday gift to all the aliens, Aaron tells an unsolicited sad sad story about how he was bad at love. 

Theme song: “Eye of My Mind” by Wooky (wookyofficial.bandcamp.com)

Episode 83: A Cult of Their Own

How many hoomans does it take to make a cult? Not that we’re trying to start one… But if we WERE trying to start one, how many people would it take to officially be called a cult? Well, we aim to find out, and that’s why we’ve built automatic FABA Family registration into your podcast subscription button. So sit back, pour a tall glass of Flavor Aid, and join us. Not that you have much of a choice.

Theme song: “Eye of My Mind” by Wooky (wookyofficial.bandcamp.com)

Episode 82: Eight Legs, No Dicks

You sit on it, you eat on it, you even sleep on it. No, that’s not a dirty riddle. This week your Earth Ambassadors tell the aliens about furniture. On an unrelated note, have you ever wondered if your couch was actually an alien doing reconnaissance  work on you and your loved ones, soaking nutrients out of your skin through osmosis as you sit on it, unaware that you are being spied on and perhaps even slowly eaten alive? Me neither. Anyway, get ready for an oddly randy episode. 

Theme song: “Eye of My Mind” by Wooky (wookyofficial.bandcamp.com)

Episode 81: Hooman Seeking Wives


Things are about to get crowded here in the recording booth! This week, your Earth ambassadors decide it’s finally time to take on a few more wives. And if you’re an alien, that’s probably a totally normal thing to do! But how do they plan to pull this off? By hacking the iTunes terms and conditions of course. Or maybe just creating a profile on the real website that exists called sisterwives.com. Let’s see how this works out.

Theme song: “Eye of My Mind” by Wooky (wookyofficial.bandcamp.com)

© Jacob Rosok and Aaron Patterson, 2016