For Aliens, By Aliens

A podcast about what it means to be a Hooman

Episode 71: Fleshy Scalp Burger

This week your Earth ambassadors cut the shit and finally get to the topic you’ve been waiting for: hair. Tune in to hear Jacob help Aaron with his disgusting beard problem, help Jacob discover his inner beach boy, and find out which unforgivable hairstyle Aaron once sported (hint: it’s a perm. Aaron once had an actual literal perm).

Theme song: “Eye of My Mind” by Wooky (

Episode 70: Satan, Take the Wheel

In this special Halloween episode, your Earth ambassadors go to the boss ghost himself, Satan. But really, is Satan that bad? In true ambassador fashion, Aaron and Jacob take a new look at the CEO of all demons, design a custom hell for each other, then give Satan some advice on how to rebrand for the 21st century.

Theme song: “Eye of My Mind” by Wooky (

Episode 69: A Gasm For Everyone

It’s about time your Earth Ambassadors talked about sex. I mean, finally right? Well, it looks like they’re going a bit deeper than your every Tuesday missionary position (pun fully intended). That’s right, your Earth Ambassadors are tackling everything kinky, even things you may not have known were considered kinks, like ghost sex and butt-scissoring. But hey, ain’t no shame in the kink game. Everyone deserves to gasm the way they want. Cue Van Morrison’s “Everyone”

Theme song: “Eye of My Mind” by Wooky (

Episode 68: Pillow Talk

Did you know that butt hair is really just the last remnants of our built-in pillows? This and many other true scientific facts await you in today’s episode. Science also tells us that one of Aaron’s ancestors, Roy Patterson, will inevitably evolve into a planet-sized human pillow. Also, it’s about time we made pillows vegetarian, don’t you think?

Theme song: “Eye of My Mind” by Wooky (

Episode 67: O-Face Apocalypse Party

The ambassadors warned us this day would come if we didn’t change our trifling ways, but now that it’s inevitable, how do we want the world to end? Do we want to go down in a giant peanut butter volcano? What about mass spontaneous implosion? I guess we’ll see. Btw, your Earth Ambassadors may be low key super villains.

Theme song: “Eye of My Mind” by Wooky (

© Jacob Rosok and Aaron Patterson, 2016