For Aliens, By Aliens

A podcast about what it means to be a Hooman

Episode 69: A Gasm For Everyone

It’s about time your Earth Ambassadors talked about sex. I mean, finally right? Well, it looks like they’re going a bit deeper than your every Tuesday missionary position (pun fully intended). That’s right, your Earth Ambassadors are tackling everything kinky, even things you may not have known were considered kinks, like ghost sex and butt-scissoring. But hey, ain’t no shame in the kink game. Everyone deserves to gasm the way they want. Cue Van Morrison’s “Everyone”

Theme song: “Eye of My Mind” by Wooky (

Episode 68: Pillow Talk

Did you know that butt hair is really just the last remnants of our built-in pillows? This and many other true scientific facts await you in today’s episode. Science also tells us that one of Aaron’s ancestors, Roy Patterson, will inevitably evolve into a planet-sized human pillow. Also, it’s about time we made pillows vegetarian, don’t you think?

Theme song: “Eye of My Mind” by Wooky (

Episode 67: O-Face Apocalypse Party

The ambassadors warned us this day would come if we didn’t change our trifling ways, but now that it’s inevitable, how do we want the world to end? Do we want to go down in a giant peanut butter volcano? What about mass spontaneous implosion? I guess we’ll see. Btw, your Earth Ambassadors may be low key super villains.

Theme song: “Eye of My Mind” by Wooky (

Episode 66: Fan Fiction and The Room of Infinite Buttholes

Is there a world where Frasier actually lives at the end? What if Cloud and Sephiroth totally banged? I mean, they did, but what if it was canonical? Well, join your Earth Ambassadors in welcoming the expert on fan fiction, Audra Khrystine, as she teaches ya boys about popping, locking, docking, and shipping. Oh, and now there’s a FABA fan fiction.

Theme song: “Eye of My Mind” by Wooky (

Episode 65: Interdimensional Sticky Hands

Have you ever met a dentist? Me neither. Come to think of it, have you ever even SEEN a dentist? How can you be sure? Everyone knows that you lose consciousness whenever you visit a dentist’s office, so anything could be going on in there. Model train collecting? Sure. Non-specific measuring? Almost definitely. Transdimensional limb harvesting? That goes without saying.

Theme song: “Eye of My Mind” by Wooky (

© Jacob Rosok and Aaron Patterson, 2016