For Aliens, By Aliens

A podcast about what it means to be a Hooman

Episode 84: Happy Birthday! You Drink Piss, And I’ll Blow Myself Up!

Congratulations! You’re another year old, but what does that mean. Well aliens, we’re glad you asked. Jacob and Aaron are here to tell you everything you need to know in order to seamlessly blend into human societies on this most important of days. First, of course, your friends and family members must harass you and flog you with meat sticks. Second, you must be hung upside down by someone who then bangs your head on the ground once for every year you’ve been alive. Then, finally, you must take the strongest hallucinogens available and walk out into the wild in order to come to terms with your inner self, or else be devoured by your own inner demons. But hey, that’s hoomanity. And as a special birthday gift to all the aliens, Aaron tells an unsolicited sad sad story about how he was bad at love. 

Theme song: “Eye of My Mind” by Wooky (

© Jacob Rosok and Aaron Patterson, 2016